Holy Mother of God!

Okay, news flash - the new creative test for Watford has gone on up the net! When I emailed Tony Cullingham he said it would go up in November, but here it is... bang in the middle of July. I don't want to know why I got given the wrong date - lets hope he doesn't hate me. Anyways, the self-set deadline for getting this thing sent off is December. Although there's no real deadline, the sooner I apply the better. I need to respond to all of the following tasks... 

Q1. Write a funny poem about death.

Q2. What would I find in the brightness at the light at the end of the tunnel?

Q3. Devise a campaign strategy with executions to promote Cliff Richard as the next UK Prime Minister.

Q4. Write headlines and designs for T shirts to be worn the day after Global Flooding.

Q5. Devise as many posters as you can to sell yourself.

Q6. Why should you never underestimate a handsome bear?

Q7. Sell Tarantulas as the next must have pet.

Q8. Devise a digital idea for a chocolate bar.

Q9. How would you get more folk to learn the Ukelele?

Q10. How would Michaelangelo,  (the Renaissance artist not the turtle),  sell Edam cheese?

Q11. Enclose an A4 copy, non-returnable, of your own portfolio.

The first one sounds my cuppa tea, but that last one is a toughie. I really need to get writing some top notch copy - I think around 8 campaigns constitutes a decent size portfolio. I've already made a start but I'm gonna need to work fast. Nothing like a bit of pressure to fuel me on!